I
am never surprised by the outrageous questions and comments that
strangers blurt out when they see that someone has multiples.
Discussing this issue with other parents of multiples, I have
determined that human beings have quite a fascination with twin,
triplets and higher order multiples; and that we should just take it
for what it is. Pure curiosity. Here are a couple of statements and
questions that you should be prepared to answer. Starting with the
most obvious of all:
“Are
they twins?”
This
question is asked on a daily basis whether you are carrying two or
three babies. A simple smile and nod has shown results. This is
considered to be the ice breaker of many twin conversations.
“Are
they identical?”
This
is one of those questions that you will be asked whether you have
same sex twins or boy/girl twins. This question is usually
followed by “How do you tell them apart?” I find that it's very
hard for strangers to tell identical twins apart. I can respect that,
but when one child is dressed in blue and the other is dressed in
pink, there is clearly something wrong with this question.
“Do
multiples run in your family?”
Having
had to answer this question several times, I have often sat and
wondered about what exactly people were asking me. Did they want to
know if I had fertility issues, or are they just taking a poll to see
if multiples skip a generation? Either way, it seems like a very
touchy subject for moms who needed a little help. If you're on the
asking end of the conversation, please do us a favor and stop
yourself right there.
“How
do you do it?”
The
answer to this question depends on my mood that day. Sometimes I will
answer “Well, I have no choice,” and other times I will say “With
a lot of love.” Either way, I think I get the same point across.
“Do
you have a favorite?”
Really?
You can't help but chuckle at this one. I can see someone having a
favorite set of shoes or even a favorite pet, but are you really
asking me if I have a favorite child? A friend of mine once told me
that she found the perfect answer to this question and I believe she
is right. She answers “The one that isn't crying.” Take that!
“Better
you than me!”
This
is a comment that has been said to me several times. Maybe they're
right. I have double the blessings right now and boy am I happy to
have them! Funny thing is that the last person who said this to me
ended up having twins a year later. Think again before those words
come out of your mouth my friends...(Can you tell I'm chuckling?)
The
questions and comments go on and on, but one thing holds true. The
fascination with the world of multiples is shared by us multiple
parents too, and we consider ourselves very lucky to be a part of it!
