Spending
one on one time with your children is a privilege that parents
of multiples must learn to master. Through my experience with other
twin parents, it seems that many of these families spend their days
and weeks essentially "teaming up" on the twins-using
teamwork to get through the seemingly endless list of chores that
comes with being in charge of two at a time. It's true. Whether
they're infants, toddlers or school age, having twins means a larger
diaper bag, an extra set of clothes to wash or pick out for tomorrow,
and also an extra lunch to pack. Of course, we all know that
twins NEVER eat the same thing to make things easier. (Why can't they
BOTH like salami and apple juice?) Does the lady at the deli counter
think I order ¼ lb of meat at a time because I think it’s funny?
Quality
time with a child will open the door to honest and revolutionary
conversations, and it allows multiple parents to see their
children as individuals instead of parts of a set. Even
though they have the same birthday and were roommates for 7-9 months
before you even met them, that doesn't take away from the fact that
they are each different in their own way. Spending one on one time
does not have to last all day. It can be something as short as 15
minutes if that is all your schedule allows. The main focus is for
your child to have your undivided attention. Here are some examples
of opportunities that you can use to have that special time.
Although
multiple parents try to schedule everything from their feedings to
their naps, one will surely fall asleep before the other. While their
siblings are sleeping, you can sit with them and ask them about their
day, or even discuss what happened in your life that day. Have babies
that will not understand what you're saying? Pick up that baby and
give him or her 10 minutes of cuddling time. Not only will it do the
baby some good, it will certainly boost your spirits after a long
day.
Divide
and conquer! Have you partner take one twin out while you take the
other. It can be as short as a visit to the new yogurt place or as
long as a shopping date. Walking around the mall and asking your
child what they like will certainly help you bond. It will also give
you the opportunity to more deeply explore the interests of that
particular child. You may even hear something they just didn’t want
to share around someone else their own age!
Do
you have parents and/or in-laws close by? Suggest sleepovers just for
one or the other. This will lighten the load for both households,
give them one on one time with you, and give them the run of the
house by themselves for a change. If they’re small, they may get
time with that toy that is always hoarded by their sibling. If they
are bigger, they may suggest everyone visit a new restaurant they are
interested in, but never get to try because their brother or sister
doesn’t like that type of cuisine. The situations for one on one
time are all around if you really think about it. Plus, if you make
it easier on the parents throughout the year, you can save up the
favors for when you REALLY need a vacation alone!
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