How hard could it be? Those were my
famous last words after accepting a placement of twin 6 month old
boys. Before becoming foster parents, we had suffered though 7
pregnancy losses; never making it further than 16 weeks. I received
the call just as I was leaving work, and three hours later they were
at our home. We had just been certified the week before and were only
prepared for one child. By prepared, I mean we had a crib and a
dresser. We never knew the age or sex of the child that may have come
into our home, so there was really no way to fully prepare.
From the moment those boys came into
our home, they had our hearts. My husband had already started calling
them his boys by day two. I had hopes of adopting them, but as an
emergency placement there was no way to tell if they would be there
for one day, one month or forever. The first week was hard enough to
handle; by the second week I had a breakdown. I can only imagine how
similar our situation might be to parents who give birth to their own
children. I had to get them set to a schedule for sleeping and
feedings, and attend medical, CPS and other government agency
appointments every day for the first two weeks. I wondered if I was
really capable of doing what I had agreed to do.
It took a little while, but we got into
the swing of things. My husband and I split up the work, and found a
routine that worked for all of us. No matter how stressful the day
was or how overwhelming it became, at the end of the day I felt so
lucky to be able to take care of these boys. Out of all the homes
they could have been sent to, they came into ours. Every time we went
out we were the recipients of those typical twin questions and
statements: “Are they identical?” “Do they act alike?” And
let’s not forget, “Oh wow, double trouble!”
The life of a foster parent is not an
easy one. You are asked to take in children who need love and a
caring home, and you give them everything in your heart. All the
while, the possibility exists that one day have those children may
wind up leaving to return to their families. However, the knowledge
that for a time (however short it may have been), you made a
difference in someone’s life makes it all worthwhile. They remain
in your heart and will always be part of your family.
We were very lucky as it turned out. We
were able to adopt our boys when they were 20 months old, making us a
About The Martinez Family
My husband and I were married in July of 2005. Two weeks later, he left for Iraq, and six months after that I left for Afghanistan. What was originally supposed to be a year long deployment for me turned into a 16 month deployment at the last minute. One thing that got me though all those months apart was the dream of us finally starting our family. So, when we were finally reunited almost two years later we decided to start trying. Initially we took the “when it happens, it happens” approach. After the first few months of no “positive” marks on the home tests, I decided to step it up. I tracked my cycles, and and studied the topics of ovulation and reproduction. After almost a year, we got our first positive. Only weeks later, it ended with a miscarriage, then another and another. After 4 miscarriages, we found out I had Asherman’s Syndrome; and luckily the Army was able to send me to a specialist in San Antonio to attempt to correct it.
Six months later, I got a positive test
after a fun trip to Las Vegas. I was so excited to have made it past
the 9 week mark (our furthest yet), that I was convinced we had a
keeper this time! We headed to our 11 week OB appt and got the worst
news of our lives. Apparently, our child’s skull was not fully
formed. Upon further screening, it was found he had a severe form of
Amniotic Band Syndrome that caused multiple defects with his poor
little body. When I was 16 weeks he was born an angel. We named him
Caleb Christopher Martinez.
Three more pregnancies and three more
losses came after we lost our Caleb (8 in total). All the testing
came back normal; apparently there is no reason why we could not
carry to term. When I left the hospital after our most recent loss, I
told my husband that I just wanted to be a mommy and I didn’t care
how our baby came to us. The next week, we found a foster agency that
accepted us into their training program. Within 3 months, we were a
certified foster and adoptive placement home.
Exactly 7 days after we were certified,
I got a call as I was driving home from work. The agency asked us if
we would accept an emergency placement of twin six-month-old boys.
Although we initially wanted to be placed with children that were
already available for adoption, I knew we were somehow meant to help
these boys. I was told that they were born in Sep 2009; just a month
after our Caleb would have been due. The detail that sealed the deal
was their names; Clayton and…Caleb. I just knew that this was a
sign not to be missed.
Three hours later, two little boys were
brought to my house. They were wearing matching outfits supplied by
CPS. Even though they were fraternal, I feared I would mix them up.
So, I took out my nail polish and painted Caleb’s pinkie. I was so
relieved when during their first visit with their birth family, I
heard them call them by their names-and I had them right! Those first
two weeks were beyond crazy. We had only been prepared for one
child, and by prepared I mean we had a crib and a dresser. We didn’t
have any support for being “new parents,” as no one really wanted
to bring us things not knowing how long or short of a time the boys
might be with us.
Their case was a rollercoaster to say
the least. We never knew if they would be with us for one day, one
week or one year. What we did know is that they would always have a
place in our heart, and we would love them forever. Eight months
after they were placed with us, their birth mom made the decision to
give us the rights to adopt the boys. It still took a while for
everything to go through the court, as you must wait to see if any
family members object to the process. Those had to be the longest
months of our lives. When they were 20 months old, we finally became
a family forever.
We have been told many times how
wonderful it is that we saved our boys. The truth is, it’s those
precious little boys who saved us.
I LOVE your story! Thank you for sharing! The reason I love it so much is because it is almost identical to ours! After 4 losses (1 being full term) and trying in-vitro, we decided to go through the foster to adopt process. Shortly after getting licensed we got a call for 5 month old identical twin girls! Not prepared at all and 5 hours later they were in our arms and hearts forever. We were able to adopt them at 19 months. They are now 4 1/2 and the best gifts I have ever received.... Except ou
Love reading your story. I love fostering and after almost two years of being my son's "foster mom" we are finally in the home stretch of adopting. Congrats to you and your family!
What a blessing your story is to theses who are still going thru the struggle of infertility . I have seen first hand both fertility issues and its heart break and I have worked with birth parents who have lost their children and with foster parents whom have adopted . When it comes together it is a beautiful picture . Your children will touch so many lives and hopefully your family will inspire others to be more open to all the children still waiting for that forever family .
We too are proud parents of an adopted child. I belive we could not have children because God needed us to be available for our daughter, sounds like he had a special plan for you also. Congratulations on your wonderful gift