Comparing Your Twins

Posted by Julixa Newman on 10/21/2013 to Raising Multiples

Comparing-Your-Twins


In all my years of receiving questions on raising twins, the issue that worries parents the most has to be when one twin doesn’t proceed (developmentally) as quickly as the other. I could sit here and write that I never had to share any concerns like that with my husband because I knew better, but I would be lying through my tired teeth. It almost steals the joy of those growing milestones that all babies achieve. Instead of just rooting for your children and taking one hundred pictures at each turn-like you would if they were growing up alone, you can’t help looking over at the other twin during that moment and thinking, “Well, what’s with you then?”

Let me say that during our many visits to the obstetrician while pregnant, it was estimated that our baby “B” was approximately 2 weeks behind our baby “A” developmentally. As a matter of fact, while they were both born healthy enough to come home with us at 36 weeks, there was a time when we were worried that baby “B” would need to return to the hospital because she would not let us feed her nearly enough to maintain her weight. While it may seem contradictory that I am about to instruct you to stop worrying, I understand that yes, there are obvious and /or extreme circumstances where it becomes unavoidable.

It’s almost like a cruel, intrusive alarm clock that you cannot turn off when you could otherwise be sleeping; why do we need to instantly detract from our joy by having to concern ourselves with the twin sister or brother that hasn’t started sitting up, crawling, talking or even holding a bottle by themselves? I would venture to say that every doctor handling a parent of twins has answered at least a question or two regarding this phenomenon. After all, they were conceived at the same time, why wouldn’t they develop equally?

I am here to say one thing to all of you in those early stages: STOP WORRYING. You are the cliché parents; you are asking the same questions as everyone else, and anyway, the answer is that there is no way to tell why these learned abilities are being picked up at different times! They say a mother’s mind is like a computer screen with 20 tabs open at once. Well, if this is keeping you up at night, allow me to close a few of the tabs and assure you that their twin brother/sister will get it shortly, to be brief. It may be two weeks, maybe even a month, but they are both going to be crawling, walking, holding, talking and yes, soon throwing probably in a few weeks at the most. Don’t rob yourself of the joy of discovery when you see a new skill. As it turns out, four years later, when all they do is talk, ask for snacks, hide together, and write their first initial ALL over the walls (sorry, venting here), you are 100% going to long for the old days when they crawled everywhere, and you hadn’t yet gotten rid of all those gates and swinging chairs with the built-in blankets and seat belts.

I hope that if nothing else, thousands of twin parents read this article, breathe a sigh of relief, and some pediatricians worldwide get to take a coffee break now and then with the extra few minutes. At best, I get to calm hundreds of thousands of parents who are going through the same experiences I did a few years back and stop comparing one to the other when it comes to every little detail. So, ignore the extra work and the inevitable compulsion to compare one child to another. Raising twins is most definitely twice the pleasure if you focus on the parts that matter!

Share |
Header
Regina Date 10/25/2013
This could be said for any multiples. I have triplets and had one that started walking 5 months before the other two, but in contrast she didn't have the fine motor skills that the other two had until almost 6 months later. One has an attention span that any teacher would love to see in a student where as another can't concentrate on anything or sit still for more than a minute. Each child is an individual and will develop at their own time...just as each of their personalities are different. Great Post!!!
 
Add Comment
Name 
Email 
Body 
 

Twin Parenting Tips


 Parent Humor
 Preparing For Multiples
 Multiple Pregnancy
 Raising Multiples
 Handling Multiple Babies
 Multiple Toddlers
 Medical Info.
 Giveaways!


 February 2014
 January 2014
 November 2013
 October 2013
 September 2013
 August 2013
 July 2013
 June 2013
 May 2013
 April 2013
 March 2013
 February 2013
 January 2013
 December 2012
 November 2012
 October 2012
 September 2012
 August 2012
 July 2012
 June 2012
 May 2012
 April 2012
 March 2012
 February 2012
 January 2012
 December 2011
 November 2011
 October 2011
 September 2011
 August 2011
 July 2011
 June 2011
 May 2011
 April 2011
 March 2011
 February 2011
Copyright Stuff 4 Multiples. All Rights Reserved. eCommerce software powered by 3DCart.      
Site & Graphic Design © Mod Melon Creative