Advice From Twin Moms I Should've Taken
When I was pregnant I read countless articles from parenting experts, seasoned moms and, of course, pediatricians about what to expect with twins. I covered everything: from sleeping arrangements and breastfeeding positions right through to how to keep illnesses from spreading between twins. Yet I was never confident that I was going to be able to really do it! In hindsight, what I should have done was speak to real twin moms, the ones who had been through it all and succeeded.
Here then, for you, are the top 5 pieces of advice from real twin moms that I should – and would - have taken. In sharing these, I hope that I also make at least one fellow twin mom smile:
#1 Breastfeeding is going to be hard and may not even be possible – having twins takes a huge toll on your body and often, if you have a c-section, it can take up to 4 weeks for your milk to come in. Having to supplement with formula does not make you a Bad Mom and will not affect your twins health. Do what you can and move forward with your best option. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, feel you are a bad mother or question your decision purely because you can’t give them your own milk.
#2 Co-sleeping twins is not compulsory! So many moms ask me if it is ok if they sleep their twins separately from day one. Yes. It absolutely is! Just because they are twins does not mean they need to be physically next to each other 24/7. They are bonded from conception and being a few inches apart in separate cribs will not affect their connection going forward. Do whatever you think works best for you and your family. There will be many years to come when you won’t be able to keep them out of each other’s bed.
#3 Germs are going to spread no matter what you do. Pediatricians will tell you to separate everything you can – sippys, pacifiers, lovies, even teething toys. I say move past that and focus on what is important. If one twin gets sick, no matter what you do there is an extremely high possibility, 99.99% at a conservative guess, the other will catch it too. Spend your time working out how to get through this tough time instead. If a cold takes hold elevate the cribs or buy a humidifier – these things are important whereas frantically plucking Baby B’s pacifier from Baby A’s mouth is not
#4 Your ability to get around will be limited at first but don't feel envious of your singleton Mom friends. Moms and Dads with one baby can attend local activity classes much more easily as they don't need to attend to two babies at once, nor worry about being home in time to stay on schedule. Don't feel that you need to keep up with their mommy social life. Enjoy your twins instead; have toys and music props at home and, heck, why not host the music class at yours!? It'll certainly save 2x class fees!
#5 Finally, always remember that milestones are different for Twins. Don’t feel pressure because someone else’s baby crawls before yours or can recite the alphabet months before your babies. Always take into account how premature your Twins were and also that each Twin is an individual. One WILL crawl before the other. One WILL most definitely climb before the other (probably your boy twin if you have one of each gender).