Marriage Tips For Parents of Multiples
With the birth and addition of twins or higher order multiples to your family comes a higher risk of divorce. This is not a very surprising fact as having multiples can put on a lot of added stress to a relationship. Although 50% of marriages end in divorce due to different reasons, there are some steps that you can take to nurture your relationship.
Communication Is Key
After having multiples, many parents are in shock to find out that the picture perfect vision of starting their families with multiple babies come crashing down once the reality of it all hits. When a partner stays home with multiples and realizes that they aren't able to accomplish everything they had envisioned during the day, they soon become bitter and many tend to bottle up their frustrations and fears. This is not the wisest thing to do. In a healthy relationship it is key to communicate with your loved one about your feelings. Make sure to speak up when you find yourself alone with your partner. Come up with a plan together so that you can get the rest and help that you need. Often it's a matter of just telling your partner the ways that they can help.
Sex Is Important
A multiple pregnancy can take a big toll on your body and sometimes we can become very self conscience of the fact that your shape has changed. Stretch marks that weren't there are soon permanent and you get saddened to see that the last pop star that had twins is now in tip top shape. This leads to a lower self esteem and the fear that your partner will see these flaws while you're having sex. Many times we choose to not be completely honest with our partners and in turn they may think that you have lost interest or have stopped loving them. Be completely honest about what your thoughts are and let them know that you still desire them.
This advice goes both ways, if your partner is not having sex or has been distant make sure to bring it up instead of ignoring it. It will benefit the both of you in the long run.
Make sure to schedule a date night at least every other week. Although you may not have a sitter yet, you can always schedule a nice dinner/movie night at home while your little ones sleep. Don't be surprised if your sexy time turns into a game of who can keep their eyes open the longest while watching a movie. The key here is to spend one on one time. The cost for such a date? Zero. So go on and schedule that sexy date!
Don't Wait To Get Help
We all go through ups and downs in relationships. Don't wait until things are irreparable to get help. Many couples (whether they admit it or not) have gone to couple's therapy at one point or another during their relationship. Speaking in front of a nonjudgemental third party will help you work out a plan, figure out what you and your partner's needs are, and assist you to see each other's side.
Unfortunately there is no manual for a healthy marriage and what works for one couple may not work for another but keeping the channels of communication open is one of the most important things that you can do.